Anonymous asked: Is Kathryn prego?
Part 1 of my short story
Lester had been fishing since before he could remember. His earliest memories were riding down to the docks with a bamboo pole to fish for snapper. When the snapper were running in June and October all you had to do was throw your line in the water. He could fish a few hours and catch enough for his five brothers, two sisters, mother and father to have dinner. Riding home with a bucket full of...
The mood to write has returned
I’m going to work on a short story I’m writing.
Anonymous asked: Which one of your cousins wrote this? CHOOSE WISELY
A Game of Thrones
Last spring I got hooked on the HBO original series, Game of Thones based on the fantasy series by George R.R. Martin called A Song of Ice and Fire. Currently there are five books out, after the first season finale I went out and bought the first four. Having finished the first book, which the show gets its name from, I think it’s time for a review. Tackling a set of work like this can be...
Would You Rather, The Lightning Round
It’s time to have some fun. I will present you 3 situations, you have 5 seconds to make your decision. Ready … Set … Go! You have 3 attackers approaching from approximately 100 yards away, would you rather have a long sword or bow to defend yourself? One one hundred Two one hundred Three one hundred Four one hundred Five one hundred You are kidnapped by a drug cartel, they are forcing you to...
Will Dexter Eat It: Apples
This week is a tip of the hat to a former family pet, Duke. Duke was a giant heinz 57 mutt. He was big, dumb, friendly, and probably one of the easiest going dogs I have ever met. Duke was a giant surrounded by much smaller dogs, 2 dachos and a min-pin, but he was a gentle giant. Near the end of his life, we would spend summer afternoons in the backyard playing catch with small apples that fell...
stillborn-horn asked: on one of your FAQ questions you mentioned that you thought your dachshund might be somewhere between long-haired and short haired. It's technically true, but anything that's not short or wirehair is considered long hair. I'm friends with a lady who bred them for many many years, and she said that it takes about 5 generations to get the dogs' hair down to the ground to be truly...
Hi Everyone, just getting back into the swing of things. My significant other and I are settling into a new house, finishing up some renovations, and finally getting back into a regular routine. I’ll be back with regular updates starting today and Friday I’ll have a new “Will Dexter Eat It”. In the meantime, I want to address some questions I frequently receive: Q - What...
Promise And there will be a double decker Will Dexter Eat It - Thanksgiving style next week.
Sorry for the break
Even when life is good to you, it sometimes gets in the way of the best laid plans. We’ll be back verrrry shortly, but the schedule for the next few weeks will not be every other day. More like when I have a second to breathe.
Toilet Talk: Fart Rules
Ahhhh yes, the rules of passing gas, one of the first life lessons we learn as children. We’ve all heard them - “He who smelt it, dealt” and it’s cousin “He who denied it, supplied it”. But which one is right? The biggest key to unlocking the mystery of the farter is knowing who you are dealing with. The first class is the proud farter. As a child, we never...
Will My Dog Eat It? Candy Corn
It’s Halloween, and that means it’s time to pump kids full of sugar to the point their heads start spinning. So why should Dexter be any different? So for the next 3 weeks Dexter will be trying out iconic Halloween candies, no chocolate. I mean, what could possibly go wrong giving Dexter a sugar rush? What’s he going to do? Chase his tail? Been There. Do wind sprints across the...
TV Shows I Thought Would Suck: Ridiculousness
I like Rob Dyrdek - sure he suffers from scrawny white guy who think he’s black syndrome. And yeah, he’s nowhere near as funny as when he has Christopher “Big Black” Boykin to play his fat black guy foil. And as I’m reminded of all too often, the situations he keeps mistakenly finding himself in the middle of come off way too scripted. With all that said, not...
Toilet Talk: Update on Dexter and the Pepper Rings
Friday we fed Dexter pepper rings, you can see that entry below if you missed it. He really liked them, putting down four before we decided we should probably slow down in case it causes stomach aches. That morning he had done his business and I checked his droppings to make sure nothing was weird, unsurprisingly he was fine so the woman and I went out to run some errands. When we got him I took...
Will My Dog Eat It? Pepper Rings
Last week Dexter killed an Altoid and since then he has been getting in my face whenever I break a tin out. I think we have created a monster … and they still don’t make his breath any better. This week we move to the other end of the spectrum, we are taking a request and moving onto something spicier. The original suggestion I received was of jalapeno … not bad but I...
Book Review: The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest
The final book in the Millenium Series, The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest (TGWKTHN) leaves us wondering “what could have been” had Steig Larsson not left us all too soon. Knowing we were robbed of what could have been another half dozen books makes you relish every work of what turns out to be a more satisfying goodbye than expected … and I think that is what is a...
Toilet Talk: Full of Crap
This past weekend the woman and I spent Saturday with her sister, brother in law, and their two little children. Their daughter was a little backed up and watching her strain would have been comical had she not been so miserable. Watching nearly popping a blood vessel made me think of some of the monsters I’m struggled with. Before you get scared you’re going to see pictures of...
Will My Dog Eat It? Altoids
Meet Dexter. He’s my one year old miniature long haired Dachshund. He enjoys chasing his tail, dry humping his favorite pillow, sleeping, licking your face, and peeing on you if he’s excited. In short, he’s the best dog ever. We’ve all the heard the rumor, dogs will eat anything … but is it true? Why don’t you help me find out. I love science, it’s so...
Book Review: The Girl Who Played With Fire
This week we move on to part two of Stieg Larsson’s Millenium Trilogy, The Girl Who Played With Fire. After flying through the first in the series once it drew me in, I wasn’t quite sure how excited to get about it’s sequel. I was a bit worried this book would suffer from having to live up to the extremely lofty expectations of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, but The Girl Who...
Toilet Talk: Would You Rather 3
This week’s would you rather is brought to us by our future sponsor, the Nutty Buddy. Keep your friends close and your Nutty Buddy closer. If you didn’t guess already, this edition of “Would You Rather” is dedicated to nut shots. All men have had their balls punished at least once. It’s what makes us appreciate the fragility of our man parts. For example, when I...
Toilet Talk: Things My Father Taught Me
Fathers … and Step Fathers - for better or worse they’re the best teacher any boy can have. Through their triumphs and mistakes we learn the lessons that make us better men, lessons that we will ultimately pass down to our children. With that said, if you had a father figure anything like mine, these lessons come with unforgettable stories. Getting your drivers license is one of those...
Book Review: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
In the next few weeks I’ll be tackling each of the three books in Stieg Larsson’s Millenium Trilogy, this week we’ll start with The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. The books were released posthumously, something of a labor of love that the Swedish journalist wrote in his spare time. Upon their release, the books took the literary world by storm, selling over 27 million copies. Three...
Toilet Talk: Hangover Movies
If you’re like me you have woken up on a Saturday or Sunday morning feeling like shit warmed over from the night before. You don’t want to move, you might puke. You don’t want to eat, you’ll definitely puke. And you sure as shit don’t want to have to think. The only thing you can bear to without puking is pick up the remote and turn on the tv and zone out. ...
Toilet Talk: Would You Rather 2
This time we’re looking at bodily functions. Animals are always fun and require some careful strategic planning, however these bodily function situations are more to do with thresholds. You see, either way you’re screwed - they’re more a matter of which are you more screwed doing and tend to speak towards what someone is made of. Would you rather take a handful of Alli then eat...
Movies I Thought Would Suck - Captain America:...
I finally bit the bullet and shelled out cash (granted at a discounted rate) to watch a movie I was scared was going to be garbage - Captain America. I was worried they would rush it out so the Avengers could be released next year, I was worried they would continue the tradition of crappy Captain America flicks. It wasn’t terrible. Not Great. Not Bad. Better than Thor and Iron Man 2, not...
Music Review: The Rip Tide - Beirut
Emerging from the American Southwest at a very young age exploding onto the indie music scene, Zach Condon is regarded as something of a prodigy. At only 25 he has carved out a niche as a Balkan Folk Electro pioneer and his band Beirut has been his vehicle for doing so. His most recent work, The Rip Tide, is a marvelous amalgamation of all of those influences into something ear catching. Hanging...
I love documentaries, one of the best shows on TV that consistently pumps out entertaining and relevant documentaries is Frontline. Among their best work is Country Boys which is a story of two teenagers, Cody and Chris, growing up in Kentucky and their struggles. There are many times that the story seems so familiar - struggling to ask out girls, learning to drive, falling in love, wanting to...
Maximum City: Bombay Lost and Found
Leaving the only home you have ever known behind can be a very difficult experience, but in Maximum City by Suketu Mehta we see that returning can be equally tumultuous. Maximum City chronicles the return of our author to his home city of Mumbai (or Bombay) some 25 years after leaving as a child. What is born of his return is a sprawling, rambling but ultimately interesting and often...
Toilet Talk: A World of Music ... Videos
I was bored of my itunes playlist at work the other day so I pulled up youtube and put together a playlist of music to listen to. Somehow (and admittedly not my finest moment folks) I found my way to new wave early 80s music. Which brings me to the point of discussion, what happened to fun music videos? And more importantly, if you could live 1 day in any music video, which would it be? My choice...
Toilet Talk: Would You Rather One
I’ll start with an easy one. Would you rather be locked in a small room for 20 mins with a hive of agitated bees or a king cobra? My choice? The King Cobra - easier to evade even in small spaces and if bitten you are put out of your misery quickly rather than the accumulation of stings you would receive from the bees. The attraction of the bees is that while you are guaranteed to get...
Toilet Talk: A Philosophical Discussion About...
Yesterday I touched on a discussion I had about the difference between men and women when it comes to disgusting habits - men treat them as a badge of honor, women fart into toilets. This difference is rooted in a deep seated desire in men to compete for superiority - let me explain. Friday night I was watching Shark Tank with my lady - one of the companies making a pitch was “Man...
Toilet Time Episode 1
Hello, my name is Ben. A few months ago my better half and I had an deeply involved philosophical conversation about texting on the toilet - specifically whether she wants to know when I’m crapping and texting her or if she would rather be oblivious. My opinion is honesty is always the best policy, however she believes what she doesn’t know won’t gross her out. This...