Ben Writes

Toilet Talk: Hangover Movies

If you’re like me you have woken up on a Saturday or Sunday morning feeling like shit warmed over from the night before. You don’t want to move, you might puke. You don’t want to eat, you’ll definitely puke. And you sure as shit don’t want to have to think. The only thing you can bear to without puking is pick up the remote and turn on the tv and zone out.

That’s where Hangover movies come in. I’m talking about movies you lay around and watch because they require no brain activity at all to follow. I can’t take credit for coining the phrase, the first time I heard the time used was when I was about ten and my step father walked in the room while I was watching Clan of the Cave Bear.

These movies usually usually have a few characteristics:

1. Bright colors

2. Simple plots

3. Scantily clad women

*contrary to popular belief funny movies are a bad choice, laughing sends throbbing jolts of electricity to your frontal lobe that makes your eyes cross.

There also obviously a few things to stay away from as well:

1. Musicals

2. Anything with Jack Black yelling and trying to be funny

3. War movies or racing movies

My personal advice, stick to a martial arts movie - you can’t go wrong with Jackie Chan as long as Chris Tucker’s high pitch screeching isn’t in it. Another solid choice is something from Pixar, it will hold your kid’s attention but is entertaining enough for adults. And you can’t overlook the entertainment of an old classic like Star Wars or Planet of the Apes.

With these guidelines in mind you can be educated in your choice of movies that’s won’t make you puke.